Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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