I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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