Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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