those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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