I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
