i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
