I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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