my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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