im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
