if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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