He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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