i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
