what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
