I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
