SEEEEXXX PLEASE
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
