Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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