Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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