I molested 6 butterflies tonight
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
