From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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