I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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