So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
