Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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