What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
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