So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
