I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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