so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
