I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
