i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I need to align my fucking chakras
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
