I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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