Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
