Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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