We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
