do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
