Got a toothbrush?
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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