Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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