yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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