next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
