nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
