i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
