let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
