lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
