Have you finally orgasmed yet?
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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