I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
