My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
