it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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