i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
