I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
