Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I don't want my vagina anymore.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
