hell yes lets make some ravioli
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
