hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
