I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
